One of the reasons that planning for elder care is not done is the reluctance of both parents and children to talk about money. Dan Taylor in his book The Parent Conversation is very insightful about this aspect of elder care. (more…)
This is another excuse for not doing anything. Accepting this reason is fraught with danger. (more…)
The greatest excuse in not planning for home care for an elderly parent is that we don’t want to face the inevitable, the gradual decline and death of our parent. We don’t want to face it whether it is our future or our parent’s future. We rather be distracted by minor things and just hope that it passes us by.
So we look for completely rational excuses. (more…)
Yesterday I shared some of the excuses not to plan for elder care that Dan Taylor wrote about in his book, The Parent Care Conversation. The reality is that if you accept an excuse now you will pay a heavier price later. It may be much more costly to deal with certain problems and some problems may be settled not to your liking. (more…)
Dan Taylor has written a wonderful book entitled The Parent Care Conversation. In the book he writes about how to have the critical conversations with your elderly parent(s). The earlier you have these conversations the more options you have and the better you can manage the job of elder care. And it is a job. If you had to pay some one to provide home care it would cost you thousands every month. (more…)
One of the reasons that the elderly don’t tell you what’s going on is that they fear for the loss of their independence which is quite reasonable. They also don’t want to appear incompetent or admit that they need help. In some cases the elderly don’t want to be a burden on their children. (more…)
One question that I keep thinking about is how we missed the signals. Why did we not see this coming? Or better yet, why did we choose not to see? This is not just an academic question. If we got this right, at the beginning we could have saved ourselves so much grief. I wonder how our experience with elder care would have been different if we sought more information right in the beginning. (more…)
During the time we took care of my father-in-law, we had thirteen trips in the hospital and eight stays in rehab. In addition, we brought him to dialysis treatment at the hospital three times a week for two years. This meant that we were dependant on other people for the quality of his care. We dealt with dozens of very professional people and with an exception or two we felt that he was well looked after. (more…)
A touchy subject regarding falls is restraining the elderly patient. (more…)
There are things we tried to do to minimize my father-in-law’s falling. We made sure that he had his vitamins and minerals, especially, calcium and vitamin D. We also tried to get him to exercise every day although he often tried to get out of doing it. To make it easier for us to work with him, Jill drew up a contract saying that he would cooperate in his care which included showering, eating, and exercising. She had him sign it and whenever he objected she would bring it out. Jill made him read it and then get his agreement to exercise. (more…)