This is the central problem with home care for the elderly.  As their facilities and strength diminish, how will they manage their lives, and if they can’t who will?

Some people I know solved the problem by selling their homes, before the meltdown, and relocated to a Continuing Care Community.  They have a suite of rooms and there is no maintenance for them to do.  Should they need it they can go to an assisted living wing or the nursing home wing.

This arrangement calls for a sizable down payment and monthly payments.  Not everybody can afford it.  It does allow the parents to keep their independence and does not place an undue burden on the children.

But what do the rest of us do?

Home Instead offers non-nursing care.  We happily used them when we provided home care for my father-in-law.  Home Instead has a 40/70 rule which says that if your parent is over 70 and you are over 40 you should be talking about their plans for the future.

And if not you, then who?

And if not now, when?

This blog and the Action Program we put together is an attempt to answer that question.

The longer you put this off the more complicated it becomes.  You need to talk with them while they still have their full faculties and can make the best decision for themselves.  This is the best time to talk with them regarding decisions about money, property, housing, and the legacy they want to leave behind.

This is the best time to enlist the help of siblings or other relatives so that a crisis doesn’t force you to deal with  all of their issues as well as your own.

If there are issues regarding their care this is also the best time to have them adjudicate those issues and not have to guess as to what they would have wanted.

If you think your life is complicated now, you have no idea how complicated it will be if you don’t plan for home care for your elderly parent.