Dan Taylor has written a wonderful book entitled The Parent Care Conversation.  In the book he writes about how to have the critical conversations with your elderly parent(s).  The earlier you have these conversations the more options you have and the better you can manage the job of elder care.  And it is a job.  If you had to pay some one to provide home care it would cost you thousands every month.

So it’s worth it if you could get a heads up as to what your parent is planning.  The how you implement the solution then becomes easier.  The problem is how to overcome the stress of having to talk to your parent about their money, their independence, and their life style.

Given the stress involved children usually opt for the easy way out—do nothing like we did.  This default option is not very satisfying.  Here are some of the excuses Taylor lists that are used for not talking about elder care:

1.    My parents have money, property, and papers scattered all over the place.  Even they aren’t sure where every thing is.  There’s no way to deal with a situation like that.
2.    My parents say they’ve already worked things out with their attorney and don’t need to do it again.
3.    My parents are very private about their financial situation.  It was a taboo subject when I was growing up.  I can’t get them to open up now.
4.    My parents and I have never been close, have never been able to talk about anything, and rarely see each other.  It’s too late to start a relationship now.

Do you see yourself making these excuses?

Wait until you see the next step.