During the time we took care of my father-in-law, we had thirteen trips in the hospital and eight stays in rehab. In addition, we brought him to dialysis treatment at the hospital three times a week for two years. This meant that we were dependant on other people for the quality of his care. We dealt with dozens of very professional people and with an exception or two we felt that he was well looked after.

You probably find that taking care of an elderly parent will also bring you into frequent contact with staff members at medical institutions. There are a couple of simple things that you can do to help insure that your LO receives the care they deserve.

It starts with the mindset that the aides, nurses, custodial staff, receptionists, therapists, and administrators are professionals. That they are doing work that is difficult, demanding, and subject to constant scrutiny. That they are dealing with intimate aspects of chronically ill and sometimes demented patients. As such they deserved our respect and cooperation.

When he was in rehab, we showed our respect and thanks by first of all, showing up on time. On the days he went to dialysis I would get there a little bit earlier to see if I could help get him ready so that there would not be a constant rush to get him out. I would be sure that he was returned on time so that he would get his dinner in the dining room and the staff would not have to make special arrangements.

We also baked cookies for the staff as a way of recognizing what they do and to say thanks.

We also visited every day and Jill called every night to speak to the night nurses. She got to know all the staff members by name.

It conveyed the message that we loved him and were concerned for him and that our actions showed it. It also showed we appreciated everything they were doing for him

As a result, we felt that wherever he was he received excellent care.