One of the easiest situations Dan Taylor describes in his book, The Parent Conversation, is that of an only child.  Their excuse is that it is too overwhelming for one person.

But from my personal experience and from my talking with many other caregivers, you’ re alone in providing care whether you’re an only child or not.  It seems like a fact of life that one child does all the work.  The others wait to split up the inheritance.

I’ve heard one sibling say to the caregiver, “Tell me when Ma is dead.”  Another sibling advised the caregiver to, ‘take Pa to the park and leave him.  Somebody will pick him up.’   That shining example of filial love is now suing the caregiver over the spending of their father’s social security money.

If anything, the only child can provide elder home care without one of the big stress factors, namely resentment over the lack of cooperation from other siblings.

As to how they are going to manage, there are ways to develop a network to support their efforts.  One of the simplest methods is to enroll the LO in an adult day care program.  In many locations the LO will be picked up and brought back to the home.  They get to spend time in activities with people their own age.  There are exercise programs, discussion groups, and supervision.

Such a program will allow the caregiver to continue with his/her normal daily routines.  Additional suggestions for support networks are in my Action Program.